Sometimes, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

But what if you’re not sure how to do “it” right?

This masturbation guide will cover everything you need to know so you can explore your body with confidence and find a technique that works best for you.


Woman in bed touching herself

The mood for your masturbation sessions doesn’t need to be candlelight and silk sheets (unless you want it to be). It can be anywhere that makes you comfortable – a quiet room, in a bubble bath with the door locked, on the living room sofa, wherever! Just make sure it’s a place you can relax, get frisky, and give yourself some love.

NOTE: Whether you’re alone or not is up to you. Having a partner watch or masturbating alongside them can be a real turn on for some people. If you like it, go with it!


On the note of mood setting, sometimes just the location isn’t enough, and we need extra stimuli to get things going (and keep them going). 

Erotic books are great for stoking the fires and getting your mind revved up (because remember, the brain is the biggest sex organ and it needs to be fed as much as the body).


If you don’t want to hold a paper book (so you can keep your hands free to play WHILE you indulge in the erotic word), audiobooks are a great alternative.

I would suggest getting into the plot well beforehand so you know which juicy parts you want to skip to when you need them – or have several familiar novels on standby (your erotic audio buffet as it were).


Bedroom with full length mirror

There’s enough porn out there to sink the Earth a hundred times over – and satisfy whatever niche you’re into. Look up, bookmark, and/or download you’re favorites (careful of viruses).

FUN EXTRA: Try syncing your movements with whatever the actors are doing.

And, since we’re talking about visuals, why not try masturbating in front of a mirror? It might be a bigger turn-on than you realize.


Maybe you don’t need porn or erotic books. Maybe your mind is creative enough that YOU are your own entertainment! Close your eyes and let your mind go where it wants.

And don’t be ashamed if it gets kinky or weird! You’re safe inside your own brain and no one has to know, *wink.

You can also use all that porn and erotic stories to help beef up your fantasies.


Yes, there is such a thing as a masturbation quickie – and there’s nothing wrong with them. However, if you’re needing something more fulfilling, you’ll have to put in the time.

This means NOT diving into any hardcore stroking or pumping until enough blood had reached the necessary areas.

So, if you have the time, extend your masturbation and draw out the experience.


Some erogenous zones (particularly the clit) can be really sensitive and need to be warmed up before you go in with harder pressure. If you’re finding it harder to build that blissful tension, dial it back and go in with light caresses and strokes.


Diagram of the Vulva

The U-spot is the area around the urethra, and like the rest of the vagina, it’s surrounded with nerve endings.

The difference is that you don’t need to use hard pressure with this spot.

A gentle touch can feel quite pleasant for some ladies and can be a nice addition to your masturbation warm-up.


There are some ladies that are sensitive in general and no amount of build-up helps – or maybe your body has just decided it’s going to be that way for a few days. If that’s the case, try your normal moves over your underwear or with a piece of fabric (like a towel) in between your body and the action.

NOTE: This is also useful if you want to try sex toys, but the vibrations are too much for you.


Diagram of the erogenous zones

All this advice also applies to things OTHER than your vagina.

We like it when our partners pay attention to many parts of our body, so why should we ignore them when we’re taking charge of our own pleasure? Try playing with your…

  • Breasts
  • Nipples
  • Lips
  • Inner thighs 
  • Anywhere that makes you happy


You might have your “go-to” position, which is fine, but don’t be afraid to try other things – you might find a new position that knocks your socks off. Also, keep in mind that different positions might garner different sensations or work better with different techniques.

  • Lay on your back in spread eagle position
  • Alternatively, bend your knees as you open your legs
  • Pull your knees into your chest
  • Turn on your side
  • Lay on your stomach
  • Sit on a chair or other piece of furniture
  • Get on your hands and knees
  • Get into a squat

I’m also sure that any yoga students could add MANY more ideas to this list.


If you’re going to be on your stomach, you can try using a pillow or rolled up towel in between your legs. This gives you something firm to press up against and get the necessary pressure and friction to climax. It’s also good for wedging sex toys into.


I’ve mentioned sex toys a couple times now. They’re excellent additions if you need more stimulation or are having trouble coming to climax on your own.

Ambi by Lovense, versital bullet vibrator

BULLER VIBRATORS –These tiny sex toys are discreet, cost less than other sex toys, and are meant to target the clit (although they can also be used on other body parts if you want). Just remember that the cheaper the toy, the weaker the vibrator will be, and they are not meant for insertion.

LOVE EGGS & VIBRATORS – You can also try your average vibrating dildo or insertable. Some will come with a g-spot bump, some will not. I can’t suggest which ones are better because preferences differ from person to person.

RABBIT VIBRATORS – These are like a dildo. However, they will also come with an extra arm that provides clit stimulation. Good for those who like combo orgasms.

MAGIC WANDS – If you’ve never bought a sex toy before, I would NOT suggest buying magic want first – because, they are STRONG. They’ll usually guarantee a great orgasm, but they take some getting used to.

My favorites are DOMI (magic wand) and AMBI (the clit vibe)


Although the clit is our happy place and reliable magic button, don’t be afraid to play with the labia lips and surrounding area. There are plenty of pleasurable nerve endings there too.


If you feel uncomfortable, try adding a couple of drops of lube so your maneuvers feel more fluid and cause less of that unpleasant friction. Also, you can experiment with warming and cooling lubricant for different types of sensations.

NOTE: Lube is essential, but most people don’t realize that 80% of the products there aren’t that great for your body. For example, KY Jelly is a staple of OBGYNs, but it’s one of the worst lubes you can use. PH levels and Osmolality are important when choosing a good lubricant.


Edging is where you feel an orgasm coming on, but instead of going in for the climax, you back off and let the peak subside. After, you slowly build the pressure again until you near the peak again. How many times you “go back and forth” is up to you, but even one edge could help create a better orgasm.

If you like internal masturbation, make sure you give the g-spot some love. If you don’t know where it is, or how to massage it, follow these easy steps…

  • The g-spot is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the anterior wall (towards your belly, not your back).
  • It will be a differently textured section of tissue about the size of a quarter.
  • This part of the inner vagina doesn’t “appear” until its engorged.This means you have to be horny before you can find it.
  • You can massage the g-spot with two fingers – making a gentle, but firm “come hither” motion.
  • G-spot orgasms can be deeper and more intense (and sometimes make you feel like you have to pee – don’t worry, keeping through that “urge”).

RECOMMENDATION: If your fingers can’t quite reach the spot, try a sex toy with a g-spot curve (and preferably a curved handle to make things easier on your wrist).


How many fingers is up to you, but don’t be afraid to experiment with how many digits you use during play – this can be for something as simple as touching or all the way to insertion.

Also, don’t be afraid to use TWO hands while you play.


CLIT ORGASM – There’s stroking, circular motions, flicking, gentle squeezing, and sucking (if you have a sex toy that can do this – like the “Womanizer”). You can do this with the clitoral hood still pulled down or you can pull it back for a stronger sensation.

VAGINAL ORGASM – You’ll get this from inserting your fingers or a toy and working your g-spot and/or your vaginal canal. There are SO many techniques you can use – too many for this article.

ANAL ORGASM – The bum (inside and out) is filled with just as many nerve endings as our other happy places. You can work this part of your body the way you would your clit, u-spot, or inner vagina. Fingers or toys are fine, HOWEVER, if you’re going to use toys, make sure it has a WIDE BASE so nothing slips in and gets lost up the colon.

NOTE: Anal play can be scary for some people. Check out this article if you want more advice or reassurances.

COMBO ORGASM – Combos are usually vaginal and clitoral orgasms together, but you’re not restricted to those two. If other places make you cum, go for it!

OTHER ZONE ORGASMS – Did you know that some women have nipples so sensitive that they can peak with JUST with that stimulation? Search your body for other places that make you moan.


Remember, a great masturbation session isn’t a race to the finish line. It’s a slow, wonderful journey to an explosive fireworks display.

HOWEVER, you can still have a delicious time without having an orgasm at the end.

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Do you have any other masturbation advice? Share in the comments!